I wrote a book (that comes out in TWO WEEKS) and I don't remember.

Am I doing this writing thing wrong?

Monster Tree, my fourth published middle grade novel, comes out in TWO WEEKS. But here’s the thing…

I don’t really remember writing it.

There’s a certain kind of writer that fascinates me—the kind who remembers everything.

They remember exactly where they were when they came up with the idea. They remember how it felt to write certain scenes. They know each line intimately, and whoo boy does it kill when their stories get rejections.

Part of me feels…guilty? that I remember so little about writing this book? Like maybe I’m somehow doing it wrong.

I told this to a friend and she said, “Hey, if women could remember giving birth they’d never do it again.”

Which…fair.

But people ask me where this idea came from, and it’s so fuzzy and tangled and meandery that I really don’t remember much. It involved so many hacked off limbs from other ideas and projects, and electricity from beta readers and editors to give it breath, that it’s all just a bit of a jumble.

There are other projects I’ve done where I remember more than I do for Monster Tree. For some reason a lot of the process of Monster Tree is hazy. Not because it was less important and meaningful, but I think because other books have come about more deliberately and writing this felt more…day-dreamy? Like I was just kind of playing in the dirt and at the end suddenly there was this little dirt gremlin in my hands and mud on my cheeks. In the most happy way, of course.

Maybe this is because there were quite a lot of firsts with Monster Tree.

Linus is my first (published) male protagonist. (The very first novel protagonist I ever wrote was a 50 year old zookeeper named George, and I’m certain he will find his way back around some day because I am in love with him.

This is the first book I wrote with a new editor. My original aquiring editor, who I absolutey whole-heartedly adore, left publishing as we wrapped things up on Nightmare House. I’ve been so well cared for by my adoptive editorial team at Macmillan, but it was all still new, ya know?

This is the first book I wrote under contract. My dirty publishing secret is that I wrote Breathing Underwater, my second published book, before I wrote Stars, my debut. So I had something ready to go for a follow-up. Then for the next contract, I pitched a mostly written Nightmare House. So Monster Tree was the first time I had to write a conracted book I’d already been paid for. That was…an experience.

Now, I’m of course being just slightly facetious here. There are certain things I do remember.

• I lived in Des Moines for most of the drafting of this book, and I remember the spot on the second floor of the West Des Moines Barnes and Noble where I brought my notebook and sat on the floor and dreamed monstery dreams.

• I remember Linus. Whatever else fuzzy, hazy storm was happening around him, my boy Linus was always the fiery, charcoal center. He kept me grounded the whole time.

• I remember when a secondary character burst onto the page and demanded to be given proper consideration, because she was very important thank you.

• I remember always, always knowing that the villain, my antagonist neighbor, came from the same blood as Madam Medusa of The Rescuers.

Looking at this list of what I remember I guess I’m not surprised that if there’s anything I do remember, it’s the characters, and not much else.

And now? I get to look at this thing I made, this story from my weird head, and be surprised. Surprised that it’s there, and that I actually really, really like it.

Anyway, it comes out TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY (!!!!) and I’m really, really excited. I even get to have my first ever in person launch event at my local Barnes and Noble!

Consider a preorder maybe? For less than the price of the fig and goat cheese sandwhich that I DoorDash to myself way too often you can get your future self a delightful spooky season treat. It is SO SO SO the most helpful thing a reader can do for their pet authors.

What about your writing process? Do you remember every detail or do you leave it all behind you in a dreamy, dusty haze?

And now…

Let’s talk about MEMORY!

10 Marvelous Memories!

1. Life-long memories

How do they last so long? A new study talks about the biology of memories that last forever. Brains are weird, man!

2. Olympic Athletes of Memory:

Apparently there is a USA Memory Championship that takes place every year in my neck of the woods! You can watch it online and it’ll be happening next month!

3. How many numbers can you remember in 4 seconds?

The world record for the longest sequence of numbers a person can memorize in 4 seconds is 30, which is like whaaaaat? Madness. The world record holder is Syed Nabeel Hasan Rizvi of Karachi, Pakistan.

4. An Elephant Never…

5. I’m reading Tolstoy for the first time atm and I’m a lil obsessed already.

“The feelings resembled memories; but memories of what? Apparently one can remember things that have never happened.”

Leo Tolstoy, Childhood, Boyhood, Youth

6. I mean how could I not, like really. LISTEN ITS SO SO GOOD OKAY? HER FAAAAACE AND HER VOOIIIIICE!!!!

7. Memory and Dream

One of the most viscerally atmospheric and memorable books I’ve ever read.

8. When Memory Breaks

Kids understand a lot more then we give them credit for. In that vein, there are a slew of great middle grade books about Alzheimer’s and dementia. Check out this fantastic list from the Reading Middle Grade website.

9. I Just…Ate A Bug

When it comes to movies about memory, there are a lot to choose from, but we’re going with rom com today because…well, of course we are. You’ve probably seen this one, but if you haven’t, this is your friendly reminder that Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell together are magic.

10. Teacher Resources

Teachers, librarians, and homeschool parents, I’ve got some fun Memory activities and lesson plans for you and your students!

• 15 Memory Brain Games, for grades K-6th.

• Auditory Processing and Memory Activities, for grades K-3rd.

• Memory Bingo for Narrative Writing, for grades 5th-12th.

I would love to do a free virtual Q&A with your class or book group! If you’re interested in scheduling a visit you can reach out to me via my website. Let me know how I can support you! I’ve also got free classroom resources to accompany each book. You guys are rock stars!

Thanks for reading everyone!

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-Sarah

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