Something happened for the first time in 10 years (and I went insane)

Or, Why Is Relaxing So Not Relaxing?

Aug 07, 2026

In July, something happened that hasn’t happened for over ten years, and I went insane about it.

First, backing up...

I started work on What Stars Are Made Of, my debut, in my MFA program in 2016. I worked on that for a couple years, and once it was published, I had a solid string of other books to work on, including books that ended up published and books that weren’t. My last book, Monster Tree came out in fall of 2024. (It’s a monstery, spooky book for your middle grade readers as we celebrate Augtober...)

But before that last book was done, before I’d even finished writing it, a new idea started glowing its little firefly butt. This was a different kind of idea. It was fun, exciting, and hit something really deep and specific in my weird little soul. But this was adult, relatively new territory for me. In fact, it wasn’t even supposed to be a book. I wrote the first iteration of this Big Girl idea as a TV pilot script.

Then came the detours and distractions. As I fiddled with this fresh new idea, I had to finish getting Monster Tree ready and published. I wasn’t sure about stepping outside of kid lit, and wasn’t sure what to do with my quirky little pilot script anyway. So I wrote and even went on sub with some picture books, chapter books, and a lower middle grade novel. This all took some time.

But all the while, no matter what else I was working on, I was working on this secret adult project too. And it took some figuring out. It’s no simple thing to take a sitcom pilot plot and revamp it into a novel. And even once I had an outline, after I started drafting, I realized I was heading in the wrong direction again and had to start the outline from scratch until I finally felt like the story was taking its correct and proper shape. Becoming the thing it wanted to be.

Pretty soon, I had nothing else on my plate. My chapter book and middle grade were done. A secret kid lit project I’ll tell you all about in a few months was done. Now, it was just me and the Big Girl Book that had been trailing by my side all along. The book that had been waiting its turn wasn’t being patient about it any more. It was it’s time.

And once I got going, the words flew. There were some starts and stops, but once things got rolling, man let me tell you, I haven’t had this much fun with a writing project since...well, a long time.

Then it was done. This thing that had been with me for years was finally on the page. I was ecstatic. I was thrilled. I did my revisions, polished it up, and sent it out to beta readers.

Then something unexpected happened.

Once I hit send on those emails, it felt like an astronaut being cut loose in space. It was quick, too. I hit send, the book was out of my hands, and then it was like I couldn’t remember who I really was anymore. What was I doing? What was my life? I’ve talked before about how I intentionally use my online spaces as bright lights and amplifiers of healthy positivity, but let me tell you, many of my friends received messages of me basically being like WHAAAAAAAHUHGGHHH????

Because for the first time in more than ten years, I didn’t have a project to work on.

I hardly knew what to do with myself. I tried:

running through three different feature film script ideas
editing an old picture book
brainstorming sequels for this Big Girl book, because I couldn’t help myself
editing the Big Girl book (again) myself because I needed to do something, then pulling away trying to make myself give it some needed space
signing up for more online illustration classes
new Mediterranean recipes
doing my first standup set at an open mic night (thanks Pam Moore!)

Now, I’m not someone who necessarily believes that rest and relaxation have to look a certain way. The sitting on the beach laying in the sun listening to the waves type of situation is wonderful, and works great for a lot of people. Even so, I wish I knew how to relax that way.

I look at it more through a StrengthsFinder lens (not shocking to my friends who hear me talk about Strengths all the time). If you aren’t familiar with Gallup’s StrengthsFinder, I highly recommend checking it out. It’s a bit like MeyersBriggs, but I find it more personal and in depth and useful, and I’ve even used it in character development before.

Basically, our brains are obviously each built differently, which means that what’s gonna soothe one brain might not soothe another. If you’ve got Activator, sitting around on the beach is just gonna make you antsy. If you have Restorative, fixing a car might be relaxing. If you’ve got Input, collecting new books for your shelves makes your brain purr. If you’ve got Achiever, getting to the end of the day without doing something you feel is productive is anything but restful, while Adaptability thrives on shifting with the tides.

I still don’t quite know what the next big project is, but I’m feeling much more okay with that, because this book isn’t done with me yet. In fact, more than with any other project since possibly Stars, it feels like this is just the beginning. I can see so much for this book. I can see where it could go, and how I could talk about it. I don’t exactly know where this is headed, but I can definitely say that I’m happy to let this project take the lead for a while. Because it’s certainly not being shy about charging ahead in my mind.

So for now, my plan is just to take my protein pills, put my Big Girl spandex on, and try and keep up.

Your turn!

What does relaxing look like for you?

The Smorgasbord is a hand-kneaded, hand-shucked, reader supported publication. If you’d like to tip your waiter and keep the kitchen cooking, become a paid subscriber and help make this meal possible! Plus get access to special publishing resources, writing classes, the query letter that got me 4 agent offers, and more!

What I’m Reading:

I’ll be honest, I’ve been struggling to read anything but the Dungeon Crawler Carl series. I’m waiting on the library hold for book 5 hehe. But that being said, Tor Freeman’s Boss of the Underworld was absolutely delightful, quirky, unique, and just what I was looking for. Highly recommended for your graphic novel readers.

What I’m Watching:

GUYS! I found a gem, a jewel, an unknown black and white British movie from the 50s that was possibly the sweetest movie I’ve seen since Marty. There is some ridiculousness happening here, but stick with it because it ends up being the most tender, heartwarming thing in the world. And even better its free on YouTube!!! So no excuses. Watch it and then squee with me about it ok?

7 Side Dishes Worth Sharing

Writing Opportunity: “Psycho Pulp” Anthology: Crime, horror, psychological thriller, western, science fiction, or any sub-genre or blend of these. In short, pulp fiction. Due Sep 1st.
How to make your story open unputdownable by Leah Rowan
Evergreen & Backlist Book Marketing Tips for Children’s Book Authors by Melissa Taylor
Why Pinterest Works for Me as an Author, and Tips for You by Melissa Bourbon
“The Idea of Autumn.”
Who else is out there obsessed with the Merlin app? I am officially a bird-watching girlie now.

“Everything will be alright in the end. If it’s not alright, it’s not the end.”
-Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

Teacher’s Table

Some goodies especially for the teachers:

3 Tips For Navigating Back To School Dread by Chrissie Wright
Everything needed to get your young writers started is here in Tools Not Rules: A Writing Guide for Young Creatives.
Free activity sheets up on my Teachers Pay Teachers store! More added all the time, so check back regularly.

Library scavenger hunt activity sheet for students

School Visits: I am so, so excited and honored to now be on the roster at the Macmillan Speakers Bureau! For school and other events, you can find my speaker page here. Or if you’re local to the Orlando area, reach out to me directly on my website!

You guys are rock stars!

Thanks for coming along everyone! The best way to support is to 1) subscribe, 2) get a copy of the book bebes, and 3) keep glowing, you shining star you.

-Sarah